How do I live a consciously chosen life and not just reactively bump along day-to-day? There are so many things I want to accomplish, so many things I need to accomplish.
I was sick four weeks ago and it disrupted some of the good habits I had established. Technically I was better a couple weeks ago. But maybe it has taken me a month to “get better”. A month to not just regain my physical health but to also repair my energetic and mental fatigue. Having a child that has stopped sleeping through the night really doesn’t help either.
So this month, while being less productive, I have been pondering how to be productive and how to create the life I want. Busyness and productivity are only useful when focused on the right things. If you are not accomplishing your big picture desires, it may be time to take a look at where your energy and time is focused.
To accomplish your goals they must be clearly and specifically defined. If your true desire is to be a winning race car driver at the Monaco Grad Prix then defining your goal as wanting to drive cars is not going to cut it. So first I need to sit down and describe my goals in detail. And as a mother with not a lot of free time, mundane tasks like cleaning and organizing our finances need to be on my list as well. Everything is vying for a time slot. I am finding it hard to get everything done. So any primary-care-givers have some tips on this? I want to be proactive and have a system to accomplish everything. Being reactive is tiring and short sighted.
Another big step I think I’ll have to take is removing goals from my list. Instead of wanting to draw more and sew more perhaps I should just pick one for now. No goal can be achieved if you are trying to go in too many directions at once. Somethings will simply need to be dropped from the list. Other things could be combined. So that two seemingly separate goals can be turned into a singularly focused direction. And still others, like projects for other people, can be focused on immediately to be completed and crossed off the list.
A big part of getting big things done is daily action. If your day-to-day activities do not reflect your bigger goals, then you will never get there. Small regular action, not one-off big statements, is how goals are achieved. This means creating habits. And habits are what I’ve been pondering.
How do we create and keep good habits? Is it just sheer force of will? Just deciding you want something and forcing yourself each day to work towards it? Is it obsession? And only obsessive people get things done? I think if you have to force yourself to do something then it is not right. We should find a way that we want to work hard at something. Find the way which things flow. If your desire is not strong enough to motivate you then maybe it is not something you truly desire.
But maybe there are other mental or energetic blocks holding you back. It is important to pay attention to inner dialogues. They could be the real thorn holding you back. “Money is hard to get”, “I don’t deserve that”, “I’m not smart/clever/ambitious/strong/attractive enough to get that”, “that is scary and hard”. I’m sure there are more you can think of. Once dialogues are identified they can be reworded. “What if” statements are a powerful tool to shift your energy. “Money is hard to get” could be flipped into “What if money flows to me easily and freely?” or “What if money loves me and wants to be in my life?” Or “What if my finances are in full bloom?”. Instead of “People might think I’m crazy”, think “What if I am loved and respected”. It is important use to wording without hidden trigger words. For example “What if I have enough money to pay all my bills” has the phrase “pay all my bills” which might trigger a negative mindset. “What if’s” work because they put you in a positive mindset. Here Marie Manuchehri explains more about “what if” statements.
So to recap my plan of action:
1. Write a list of all my goals, tasks and obligations. All specifically defined.
2. Order and edit things based on deadline and importance. What short term things can I get out of the way? What continuous obligations must I work around? What can I remove from the list?
3. How can I turn each of these goals into daily habits? Can I fit all these habits into each day? Can they be stretched to weekly or monthly? Do I need to drop a few more aspirations?
4. Try to identify inner dialogues that are holding me back and make some “what if” statements to counteract them.
5. Just do it. Don’t be lazy. And probably cut out all streaming (other people may have enough time to get lots done and later watch some shows, but I don’t have that luxury of time).
There is one other habit I used to have but dropped a few months ago. I plan on going back to it. I used to write a to-do list each night for the next day. That way I woke up already with a plan in my head. Again, if I want a more organized and productive life I must take daily actions to get to my goals. But really you are not getting to a goal off in the distance. You are actualizing and making your goal a reality in your present.
These are my conclusions from pondering my predicament. We’ll see if this plan of action works. How do you stay on top of your life? How do you get everything done and work towards your aspirations? Please I’d love to hear.