When you are sunk into negativity, how can you be positive and uplift yourself? This is what I was thinking about today.
Last night was a rough night getting Zach to sleep. Pre-baby I was quite good at being optimistic and flexible. Even when I was experiencing a negative emotion, I could still be half-way calm and logical (most of the time). Baby land is completely different. Sleep deprivation would make anything hard so it really makes a hard task hard. Now when I have low moods I can get lost in them. There is so so so much in my life that is good. But we can all be pessimistic at times. It is not about our realities. Negativity is a mindset created by ourselves. Do you see? That is why some people are happy & optimistic, while others, with seemingly superior situations, are depressed.
Other times we are low and should sit with those emotions and let ourselves be low. But sometimes we are just in a negative thought pattern and see everything as worse and more dire than it is. What would be the opposite of "rose colored glasses"?... Blackness goggles. It's important to know the difference between blackness goggles and justified low emotions like sadness which we can learn and grow from.
I do not want to be pessimistic. Negativity will just create more negativity. So today I put the question out to the universe and my guides. What can I do to get out of a negative mindset?
Crows are always around. But today they stuck out. First, I was sitting by the window and looking at a crow sitting across the street. It flew over and swooped down into our yard. Was that a sign? This didn't seem particularly special. So moving on. Then on my walk with Zach I was walking on a street we don't usually walk on. I noticed this tiny three step stairway in a grassy hill at a random corner of a yard. It made me think of Ireland and a fairie place. Such a sweet little detail. How lovely it is to explore your own neighborhood and find little gems. And then a crow started cawing directly above me. Well there are always crows around and they caw. So moving on. A few blocks later there were some crows hanging around a driveway. One was perched on the ridge of a cottagey looking shed. And I felt the impulse to stop and look at him. And he was clearly looking back at us. It was a lovely peaceful moment. I like the crisp fall air. When we started to walk again he hopped down and followed us a short ways. "Ok. I will look up crow meaning". We had seen other crows earlier, but after the one on the shed I didn't see any more on our walk.
The Bird Cards say that crow is protector and messenger from other realms. I've heard that before. It advises to find a quiet place to hear the message. It could be words, "a comforting image, or simply a warm feeling of support". Artist's note: The stones with magical inscriptions represent messages from other worlds. The violet flame about the temple symbolizes highest wisdom. And the arch of light the crow is sitting on "connects our world with higher worlds".
Ok. Hearing messages. Communicating with my guides or other higher beings is something I want. So how do I hear the message? What is the message?
Later in my car, another game of Podcast Roulette led me to The Marie Manuchehri Show's February 21, 2019 episode. I only listened to the first caller because I knew that nugget was all I needed to hear right then. The caller asked Marie if there were any messages she needed to hear to improve her life. Marie told her she had the ability to hear what was "in [her] best interest but [her] vibration needs to be elevated". When your frequency is much higher you can hear the consciousness of your higher self. And happiness is what raises your frequency. When in a space of joy & bliss is the time to "talk to the divine and ask intuitive questions because that's when you will be able to hear an answer or feel the solution". So what makes me joyful?
On our morning walk, after the cawing crow and before the shed crow, my thoughts wandered as they do. I started thinking about my tattoos which has been a strained relationship the last few years. Despite receiving complements I prefer to keep them covered. And yet I started thinking about a full color (this is unusual for me. All of mine are black), full back tattoo. One that would be so beautiful it would bring people happiness. I pictured myself getting out of the water in a backless swimsuit and the beauty of the glowing, colorful, art work would fill people with joy, Just seeing the artwork, not even noticing me. The image I was picturing was of the chakras along my spine with their colors flowing and mingling outwards filling my whole back. For some reason this thought made me feel so joyful. I don't think the message is to get the tattoo. It was glowing in my mind's eye. More like energy and light than a tattoo. I think the colorful image of the chakras on my body (as energy, not ink) is an image I should revisit. Perhaps this is my answer. Perhaps this is what I should visualize to pull myself out of a negative head space.
To raise my mood and vibration I used to visualize pink (the color of love) light in my chest, emanating outward around me. It was quite effective for me. Even while working through a busy restaurant rush and dealing with really mean customers, I could do this and become immune to people who had, just a few minutes ago, really rattled me. I used to use this technique a lot. But the last few years I haven't been as good at it so I don't do it anymore. Maybe I just needed an updated visual. Next time I am in a negative headspace I will visualize the image of the chakras. Glowing and flowing outward like luminous, weightless paint.
I will try using visualization of color and light to help me in moments of negativity. I will also now pay better attention to what makes me joyful. I want to use those moments to better connect with my intuition, higher self or guides.