I’ve been thinking about the prompt for Slow Fashion October WK3 a lot lately (hence why the post has taken me over a month). But despite all the thought put in I don’t feel like I have reached anymore clarity. I inventoried my entire closet and found out that 42% was purchased second hand. 38% is black, 22% is white. 28% was made in USA. 31% was made in China. 59% is completely natural materials. And the numbers go on.
I can’t seem to make sense of my closet. I have been pondering what is the solution I need. Do I need to better sort through my closet again because there are more items that are subtly adding burden? Or is this really all about my mind? One of these things need to be decluttered. I’m beginning to think both. So then my question is which should come first? My mind? Or my space? If I have a peaceful clear mind my closet will be easier to address. But then again extra physical clutter contributes to mental clutter. This theme of sorting is not just focused on my clothes. I should also mention that I am about to move and have a baby. I have stacks of books and other rooms to sort through. All triggering similar predicaments:
Can I make this item useful?
Would that just feel forced?
Am I just unwilling to admit that this item is no longer useful?
Or perhaps it has always fallen short?
Or I never needed it in the first place?
What if I find I did need it, after I got rid of it?
Am I just projecting my unrelated mental angst on to my possessions?
What if I can’t find a responsible way (no donation bins, no landfills) to pass the item on?
Should I then just hold onto it for potentially the rest of my life?
Do I just feel like getting rid of this because I am pregnant and going through a temporary state of being?
Or is being pregnant simply helping me highlight irritating/burdensome objects?
Or is pregnancy the beginning of a major transition which will affect all aspects of my life so I should just embrace the change and let go of the past?
Is it wasteful to get rid of a book but then re buy it later because turns out you really did want to read it but just didn’t have the time previously?
Is it wasteful to hold on to items on the chance they might become useful?
What am I most concerned about? Wasting money? Wasting space? Wasting resources? Or wasting my energy?
I am beginning to think a better question for me to focus on than “Do things add up?” is “Do things cancel out?”. Does the joy, pleasure and usefulness I gain from an item balance out the time, energy and money I put into that item? These two ends of the seesaw should cancel each other out so you are left with peace. Guilt is not a good reason to keep something. So really I am re-doing week two of Slow Fashion October: Clean Out Your Closet. I guess I didn’t do it well enough the first time.
Marie Kondo advises to have a clear and specific vision of where you are going before you sort through your things. Why are you bothering to declutter? What is your ideal lifestyle? She says to “visualize you destination”.
So What doo I want?
I want to feel more light and spacious. I want all objects to add ease and joy to our life. I am about to spend a lot of time and energy focusing on our baby so I would like all other aspects of our home to support this not distract from it. I will spend some more quiet time clarifying my vision.
There is a quote on Courtney Carver’s instagram (@bemorewithless) that is quite poignant and a helpful reminder: “If you don’t say no, there will be nothing left of you to say yes”. This quote is true of your obligations and time as well as your objects. Make space (mental, physical and time) for what you truly want to have in your life.