This morning I had quite a shift in direction. I’ve been in my head trying so hard to figure things out. But when things are right they should just flow.
I was in my car ready to listen to a podcast while driving. I selected the Tim Ferris Show which is great and has very thoughtful interviews. But I felt that subtle buzzing, that’s not quite the right word. It’s the feeling I get when things aren’t quite harmonious. Like a vibration in my energy but not a good one. More like two things rubbing against each other that shouldn’t. Disharmony. It’s really subtle. It’s intuition and it would have been just as easy to not notice it. But I paid attention. I thought to myself “I think I should listen to something that doesn’t get me in the mindset of doing and achieving. I need something soothing. I’ll play The Marie Manuchehri Show instead.” I am so glad I listened to my intuition.
Often when I listen to her show I receive the messages I need without calling in and asking my specific questions. Today, first I heard a way to get out of your head is to rest in other parts of your body. She said feet are good for this purpose because they are so far from your head. It was a good reminder for me that I was trying to solve everything with my brain. By doing that I block out possibilities and risk being too narrow in my attention. You gotta change things up sometimes. Go from focused to unfocused. Thinking to feeling.
The other key message I got was to pay attention to what is contracting. If things in your life are not growing it’s because the energy does not want to flow there. When I pay attention to energy it’s usually the expansion of energy: what brings me joy, what lifts my spirit? Or negative feelings: what makes me feel bad and tired? But there can be a subtle middle ground too. Maybe you don’t feel a strong negative towards something but there isn’t a high energy reaction either. It’s just that the energy isn’t flowing there. Lately that has been this blog for me.
I had decided to refocus this blog exclusively about style because I love clothes. That makes sense, right? I have a bunch of ideas for posts. And I was planning to write about clothing in a way that would be helpful for people. Problem is when I had free time in the evening to actually create these posts I didn’t feel like it. Down time is important. You need to take breaks and go with the ebb and flow. But this continued for more than just a day or two. I kept just being hard on myself: “Get to it. Get to it. How are you going to accomplish the things you want to accomplish if you’re not taking any action? Not even little steps? If it doesn't excite you now, when it's easy and low risk, why would it excite you later when it gets hard?”. What I realized today is that this stagnation was not a needed moment of rest, it was because my energy is just not flowing in that way. That is not always an obvious distinction.
Listening to Marie’s podcast also reminded me of some things she told me in a private session awhile ago. That I am afraid of being too weird and so keep a lot of my beliefs and my self private. She told me what raised my vibration. So I am going to step out from under my fear and open up. I will align my goals and focus with the interests that raise my vibration the most. I will write my blog on all the weird, out-there, woowoo, spiritual things I am interested in and see where it takes me.
The confirmation that I was shifting in the right direction was my feelings. I felt happy, glowy and most importantly at peace. I felt, for the first time in awhile, that I was exactly where I should be. I did not feel a struggle to do, to act, to figure things out. I realize I had previously been trying to pull things in from beyond me. Like I had to tug the future towards me. I now felt like energy was flowing to me from above. Instead of needing to pull and work, I could just be and what I needed would come.
So I pulled a card for the day. Lately I’ve been pulling cards from Bird Cards: The Healing Power of the Bird Kingdom by Jane Toerien and Joyce van Dobben. It is a beautiful deck. I pulled the wren card and it is so right on. Wren is all about consciously creating your life and knowing you will only have "joyous outcomes".
